On March 15, I had a paradigm shift. It was so profound for me that I kept think afterward that this is what it must have felt like for the character Neo in the movie The Matrix when he finally had his eyes opened.
Every area of my life has now shifted, most profoundly with how I am in relationship to my family. A truth that was there all along, that I’d been blind to, suddenly became crystal clear! All in the BLINK of an eye!
How did it happen? It happened in the pause of a conversation. It happened in the quiet. I heard something so loud in the silence that I suddenly understood something I’d missed all along.
There are no words that can express what having this shift has brought to my life and me. It feels like a miracle. I can’t believe I could have been so blind for so long.
But as Morpheus says in the film, “Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is, you have to see it for yourself.”
As I related this “Instant Awakening” to a friend recently, she asked me, “How does one have a paradigm shift?”
Well, first of all, in spite of what feels like an “Instant Awakening,” I think there is a building up prior to it, a quickening under the surface. It is gestating in our unconscious days, months, or perhaps years before, preparing us for the shift. We experience it “in the blink of an eye,” but I think it might be a stewin’ & a brewin’ for some time prior.
These are the four things I think move us closer to accessing these sorts of shifts.
1. Willing to do the Hard
I’d been engaged in some challenging self-reflection since September. This required a lot of discipline to stay with it, most especially when it became emotionally painful. On many occasions, I wanted to throw in the towel. But somewhere I kept remembering James Arthur Ray’s quote about how we must be willing to do the hard.
2. Taking Responsibility
This one can be hard to wrap one’s mind around. I’ve been choosing to take responsibility for everything that shows up in my life. EVERYTHING. Mind you this doesn’t mean taking blame. Big difference. Being willing to see myself as “the cause in the matter” of what shows up in my life shifts one’s view as a victim to the master of your own fate. I truly believe that my life is my creation.
3. Third Level Listening
In my coach training, I’ve been taught how to listen, not only to what is said, but also to what is not said. Listening at Level 3 means you are really OVER THERE with the speaker and what is going on for them in all ways, with all they are expressing. Being fully present to them means getting out of your own head and taking the focus off what you’ll say in response. This takes a lot of practice.
4. Being not Doing
I’m a doer. Being has always been a challenge for me. In prayer, meditation, and/or stillness, I get jumpy! My biz mentor actually suggested I being to practice Anusara Yoga. He said it would help me learn how to be. I thought, “No, no, no, I’m paying you to teach me what I can DO, not tell me I need to learn how to BE!” And yet, this very practice has now spilled over in how I show up in every area of my life. Beingness is undervalued. Believe me, once you start being, doors glide open before you without any effort. In this recent practice of being I am learning that the old adage is true: “Sometimes, it takes great effort to realize that life was meant to be effortless.”
I consider these four to be the linchpins of my shift. You might find other variables are necessary for you to have yours. I do believe that these four will help you welcome in any others that are waiting in your wings to reveal themselves. So as the movie goes, red or blue, it’s up to you.
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